Greetings from his Eminence the Cardinal DeBaucheret.  Pope-aparent and sole member of the Templarian Order (if you wondered where all our treasure went in 1307, look no further).  If you know me... in the Biblical sense... then yes, it was good for me too.  If not, your prayers will be answered in due course.  Meanwhile, a few announcements:

I do hope you will support my election campaign as soon as Pope Paul IV is dispatched with... I mean - that is to say... when he returns to his maker by some tragic and accidental turn of unforseeable events.  Yes.  That insufferable Giovanni DeMedici has been pulling some strings and may try to stuff the ballot box, so your support is needed.  He's soft on heresy, I've been told!

Job opportunities:  I'm hoping to fill four openings at my nunnery in Fairhaven.  Lady Trixy O'Traid, Mistress McTrollop, the good Widow Busche, and Madam Klymacks.  Should be some night.  I'm pleased to announce we'll be adding several more positions very soon.  Also, we're fully staffed and are not hiring for the foreseeable future.

I'm keen on establishing an English Inquisition to nip this Reformation nonsense in the bud.  Protestants, indeed.  What is there to protest?  Watch this space for information on how to become an associate inquisitor, confession-taker, accusation-taker or accountant as this project progresses.

"I've not comitted a single Cardinal sin all day.  Only doubles and triples.  I tried the quadruple, but I just barely missed the dismount." - Me.